Before I begin this article, I would just like to say that this is my take on human development and how to live a life right, even if “immediate satisfaction” does not come. Also, not acting contrary to a genuine understanding of it all. That is the lesson. With that, I begin this article:

At times in life, we all need to wake up and see the realities in our lives as they really are, not as we “really” want them to be. Genuine life and death are in our perceptions. Recently, I faced a crisis of conscience. I wondered if I was proceeding in the right direction with my life, or if in my past, I took a wrong turn. Well I went over it all deeply and realized that I am where I need to be, and anything else would have been wrong. Sure, I could have went through high school and become a marine biologist, an actor, a politician or a so-called winner of sorts instead of a from the ground up philosopher that actually majored in philosophy in college with a minor in public speaking and debate. But, I genuinely believe and understand, if you have a genuine from the roots dream, you must follow it, even if it sometimes seems “crazy” or “silly” to others. A real from the roots dream is the only genuine route to greatness, nothing else is. What comes from the roots is God's real gift, everything else does not count even if successful at it immediately. Face it.

So, at times in life and existence, we all need to wake up and see the realities in our lives as they really are.

When I graduated high school at fifteen, my Dad died in mid 1991, and my Mom asked me “Why do you want to major in philosophy in college?” around 1992. All I could answer is that I wanted to write about it deeply, and not only study it, but get really deep into it and improve the world somehow, although I did not know how at the time how that would happen.

Then I had a realization, start on the path however hard it seems at first because it means everything, a path that “has everything” but leads to nothing, means nothing. Many of you get what I mean by that sentence before this one, too. But then even Christianity and Buddhism in their scriptures say the same thing in phrases like “gain the whole world and lose your soul” or “the real path is as hard as getting the thread through the eye of a needle” and sayings like that.

A real winner from the core, who is realistically a winner is a rare thing because of those factors I just mentioned. There are so many “average” losers with problems in this world, because winning in the way I am mentioning is “so hard”. What is easier though? Going with the flow and being a loser, or really winning? Good question.

Here is my personal answer though, I would rather follow a genuine path and that is it. I will do it properly at this point or do nothing. I know, that is non conformity, but, if it is so be it. I would rather do it to my satisfaction or not do it at all.

My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.

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